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Joke of the Day

"Fun game: Take pictures with your camera sound turned up when someone comes into the bathroom stall next to yours"

"What do you call a whore famous among pickles? A lady of dill repute."

"Im trying to get back to my original weight. 7 lbs 9 oz"

"Why are there no Chuck Norris knock-knock jokes? Because Chuck only has to hit the door ONCE."

"q: what's black and would kill you if it jumped on you out of a tree? a: a grand piano"

"I have been checking Facebook less and less. If this continues, I'll eventually forget about all those people for the 2nd time."

"Sure, Aphrodite poses naked in a giant clam shell, she's a goddess. But when I do it, I'm ''drunk' and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium'."

"I think I want to be a ballerina. Or a fire dancer. Or I want to set a ballerina on fire. I don't know. I'm still working it out."

"Pharmacist: need any help? Me: Yes, I'd like whatever Oprah was on when she gave each and every audience member a car"

"What happened to Donald Trump when he visited Switzerland? He Felt the Bern"