55247

Joke of the Day

"I tossed a quarter at my girlfriend... ""Ouch, that hit me in the head!"" I look back and reply, ""good, maybe that'll knock some cents into you"" I'll see myself out."

"did you hear about the Indian restaurant that ran out of bread? it was a naan issue sorry"

"Why is Bernie Sanders' campaign like Jon Snow? (Game of Thrones spoilers) They're both ""dead."""

"What do you call a vegetable that's kinda cool? Rad-ish."

"This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses INSIDE of the cars, at least?"

"I received an email from Google It said, ""At Google Earth we can read maps backwards "" I thought, ""That's just spam."""

"I'm not letting anyone into my head until I've cleaned up the place."

"Rat and a Mouse Q:What's the difference between a mouse and a rat? A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound"

"[Interview] ""Describe yourself in one word."" Me: Lethargic."

"Hey. Do these camo pants make me look fatigued?"