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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you use your debit card to pay to have sex with a MtF illegal immigrant Paperless trans action"

"My dick is like my ring finger... Average in length and width and probably won't see much use until marriage."

"I had sex last night... Her: You don't have AIDS, right? Me: Of course not, why? Her: Oh thank goodness! I got it last time and it really sucked."

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?!"" ""SELF-CONFIDENCE!"" ""WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!"" *everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*"

"bury me in a dog park so i can be some dogs treasure"

"Why don't blondes like M&Ms? They're so damned hard to peel."

"If a lobsters come in on lobster boats, and clams come in on clam boats, what do crabs come in on? The captain's dinghy."

"I got 99 problems, and I wish a bitch was one, because then that means I interacted with a girl and can brag about it to my stuffed animals."

"Do you think bin men get training... ... Or do they just pick it up as they go along?"

"This orange does not taste right... I think I'm gonna put it back in the crayon box."