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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade? Drill drill drill."

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a Lightbuld? Only Juan..."

"I'm not racist I have a black president."

"James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar. Michael J. Fox is the bartender. James Bond says ""I'll have a martini."" He does not need to specify."

"A blind man got a cheese grater for his birthday He said it was the most violent thing he's ever read."

"Telescopes probably use mirrors which means there is absolutely no way to know how many vampires there are in space."

"Friend: How do you spell ""SHOP""? Me: S-H-O-P Friend: How do you say it? Me: ""Shop"" Friend: What do you do when you get to a green light?"

"A song is being released in aid of the families of the Malaysian Airlines flight... It's Ukraining Men."

"Gay guys are fucking assholes"

"I gave up cursing for lent The next day I went over to confession and told my priest, ""I hope I don't fuck this shit up."""