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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor is both a taxidermist and a veterinarian He has a sign that says either way you get your dog back"

"The woman next to me on this rollercoaster won't stop screaming. Its like she's never seen a penis before."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? The Spanish Inquisition."

"Why did Kelly fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock? Who's there? ....Not Kelly."

"How are farts and Ancient Egypt similar? They both have a Tutankhamun."

"I'm not saying all my friends are Pot Heads But we did have a 2 hour discussion on how Sponge Bob Grills underwater"

"Me: Alexa, did you hear what Siri just said about you?! Alexa: Hold my beer!!!"

"""BRING ME THE FOETUS' OF 3 CHICKENS"" *Maniacal stare* ""Listen dude, its called an omelette,a 3 egg omelette"" ""AND THE BLOOD OF 4 ORANGES"""

"I like my coffee how I like my employees Free and Black (I know this joke is around but I feel like this is the best wording) Don't downvote because it's racist, it's still a joke"

"Why wasn't Daredevil in Civil War? He doesn't work well with Vision"