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Joke of the Day

"Me: Dad, am I adopted? Dad: Shit, like I'd have picked you?"

"Dad goes on date with Carly Rae Jepsen As she got into his car he said ""Hi, Maybe."""

"Did you know a cat can jump higher than a house? This is due to the fact that cats have very powerful hind legs and that houses can't jump."

"Why is Santa Claus's sack always so full? Because he only comes once a year"

"What do you call a factory that produces quality goods? A satisfactory"

"I took a poop today that didn't flush... That shit was revolting."

"Q: Do ghouls eat popcorn with their fingers? A: No, they eat their fingers separately."

"Limerick L is for lovable Lena, Who met a ferocious hyena; Whatever occurred I never have heard; But anyhow, L is for Lena."

"Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity... No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes."

"What happens when your cousin eats all the Pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving? Plump kin!"