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Joke of the Day

"Political opinions are like assholes If yours shows up in my Facebook feed I will probably block you"

"Internet is filled with girls crying over Zayn leaving 1D. Never knew there were so many girls in the world until yesterday."

"My wife accused me of being addicted to drinking brake fluid. I said I can stop any time I want."

"Why'd the pervert get banned from the board game shop? No fucking clue"

"what did sam smith say to the popped balloon ""you've been so uninflatable..."""

"Don't ever mistake me for someone who hasn't flirted with danger. I've got bitten by a Penguin. Twice."

"""Coming up on tonight's news, hear about the tragic case of 10 people who lost their lives trying to escape a fire at the nightclub everyone's been dying to get into."" *Disclaimer: No pun in ten dead."

"Mel Brooks is tired of all the letters from Arnold Schwarzenegger begging for a new space balls movie. In a public statement he said he is the worst schwartz a nagger of them all."

"I really gotta quit drinking. Last night I got so wasted I blew chunks for hours... Chunks is my 4 year old bulldog."

"Why did the crew abandon the chili pepper boat? It was capsaicin. ^(Don't hurt me.)"