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Joke of the Day

"Mel Brooks is tired of all the letters from Arnold Schwarzenegger begging for a new space balls movie. In a public statement he said he is the worst schwartz a nagger of them all."

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"What do you call a limp snake? An ereptile dysfunction."
"ME: I fell in the shower. HIM: Send pics"
"[Computer has become self-aware] Scientist 1: Shit, just like in Terminator Computer: I HAVE WRITTEN SOME POETRY Scientist 2: No, worse"
"To Brie or not to Brie. That is the queso."
"nothing sexier than a Subway Sandwich Artist spreading tuna salad with an ice cream scoop"
"What's the difference between America any yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture."
"Did you know that six days a week T.G.I. Friday's thanks God for nothing?"
"[first day as diving instructor] Guy [from the back]: what's the signal for a shark Me: sharks don't really give signals they just show up"
"What did the man with dyslexia do while he was at the beach? Sarah Palin"