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Joke of the Day

"A joke from Jimmy Neutron made into my own. Q: In the dark they arrive without being fetched In the light they are lost without being stolen. What are they? A: Good TV shows."

"Why couldn't the fun guy go in the elevator? There wasn't mush-room."

"DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this"

"Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument? A: Hide it in an accordion case."

"What are a NEET's favorite type of shoes? REEEEEEEEEEEEBOKS"

"Why do butter substitutes have such a hard time? Because they're always being marginalized!"

"*walk up to woman breastfeeding baby* Is this guy bothering you?"

"I offered a homeless man the rest of my Pumpkin Spiced Latte.. He said ""No thanks. I'm homeless, not a fag."""

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I put it in a safe but lost the combination!"

"I was going to say a gay joke but fuck it."