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Joke of the Day

"When I go to the bar I get a Lindsey Lohan. It's a Shirley Temple with a lot of coke"

"A magical tractor is driving down a road... and turns into a field."

"What do you call a pre-historical human who wanders around too much? A Meanderthal"

"I can still party like I'm 22. Too bad I recover like I'm 82."

"Wife: Want do you want for dinner? Me: Surprise me. Wife: I used to be a man. Me: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza."

"Damn Girl, did you fall from heaven? Cus your face is fucked up."

"What is Pitbull's first name Featuring"

"Kanye West ruined his chances of having sex with Taylor Swift this weekend... TIDAL and his album release have proven he's premature."

"what nation do most people not want to be in? urination"

"It's awful that those other chipmunks force Alvin to wear an A on his sweater just because he's an adulterer."