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Joke of the Day

"what nation do most people not want to be in? urination"

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it"

"Coworker: crazy weather we're having Me: [as loud as possible] SHARON FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT KILL YOUR HUSBAND FOR A BAG OF REDVINES"

"I overheard a voyeur couple talk... ... about how they needed to start seeing other peepholes."

"It's so sweet that curtains spend all day as far apart as possible.. but then get back together at night because they're scared of the dark."

"Why does everybody like the mushroom? Because he's a fun guy."

"Did you hear about that car that runs on seafood? I heard it's very efishient"

"[x-post from askreddit] Aside from throwing stones, what should a person living in a glass house not do?"

"I know a teen girl who can only think of numbers that follow the pattern 1+2x where x is a real whole number She can't even..."

"Did you hear about the missing dalmatian? It's been spotted."