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Joke of the Day

"A man was pulled over for speeding... The officer says: Where is the fire at? The man replies: it's back there, I'm just going to get the water! (This is a true story, my uncle really said this)"

"Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships? Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either."

"I asked my dad what our IP Address was... He just pointed at the toilet."

"Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping? he woke up"

"Why is it called necrophilia and not sexual intercorpse"

"I'll sleep when I'm dead but also every night so I don't die."

"If a group of necrophiliacs ran into group of zombies...who would do the chasing? Oh, I went there...;)"

"How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard? 4 or 5."

"I normally don't drink, but last time I did I woke up next to my grandmother I still don't know how I got 6 feet under ground."