158030

Joke of the Day

"I'll sleep when I'm dead but also every night so I don't die."

"What's an American's favourite day of the week? Fryday."

"A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train load of terrapins. What a turtle disaster."

"What's a Japanese person's hangover cure? Soba Noodles"

"ISIS pickup line Girl are you a suicide vest? Cos I'd like to be inside you"

"I can't wait to see the phrase ""He was the longest living member of the Baha Men"" in an obituary"

"An old guy with a horrible toupee stopped me in the parking lot to tell me this random joke...made me crack up. How do you get down from an elephant?? YOU DON'T! You get down from a goose!!"

"[Captain America, minutes after the love of his life's funeral] Damn her niece is hot"

"Movie Opinion As far as I'm concerned, Precious is the best film in the Big Momma's House franchise."

"What did the potato name his son? Chip. Sorry."