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Joke of the Day

"Didja hear about the coke dealer who retired? He didn't want to put his business in other peoples' noses anymore."

"What do you call a government official that can't leave an airport because of a blizzard? Edward Snowed In"

"If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup."

"I became rich by selling fertilizer. I have some very prosperous phosphorus."

"""Wow! Go show your mommy!"" -what I say to any child talking to me for more than 11 seconds."

"Samuel L Jackson got into an argument with an Ethiopian... I heard him screaming ""Food, motherfucker! Do you eat it?"""

"I just bought a thesaurus from the book store, however when I got home I found that all the pages were blank! I have no words to describe how angry I am."

"How many Freudians does it take to change my mother? Edit: Sorry, I mean light bulb. &nbsp; A: Two. One to change the light bulb, and one to hold my dick. &nbsp; Edit: Dang. I mean the ladder."

"Micromanager Knock Knock Who's there? Micromanager. Now, you say 'micromanager who?'"

"What do you call an Irish man who won't leave your porch? Paddy O' furniture"