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Joke of the Day

"i jacked off into the toilet and tried to flush but the cum seems to always stay afloat..... well,what do you know...... I got great swimmers!!!"

"It's time to end double standards. It doesn't make sense that if a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut... But if a guy does the same thing, he's gay."

"Did you hear about the man who got AIDS? He was fucked."

"So the bus driver said to the string ""Are you a string?"" and the string said ""No I'm afraid not"". (A frayed knot)."

"What's the difference between James Dean and Jimmy Dean? Jimmy Dean is sausage in the skillet, James Dean was hamburger on the road."

"Did you hear about the wrestler who was beaten by a vampire? He was down for the count"

"There was a really horrible sound coming from my car, so I asked Siri to identify it. Skrillex."

"I keep having hallucinations of pickles. My therapist says I'm dillusional."

"Help your friends diet by replacing the light in their fridge with an air horn."

"She: I love movies where you need a tissue at the end Him: So do I"