38003

Joke of the Day

"Help your friends diet by replacing the light in their fridge with an air horn."

"What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ? The Codfather !"

"me: wow the stars are beautiful gf: omg babe they really are me: u know who else is beautiful? gf: *blushes* who? :3 me: Harambe"

"Emma Stone is my girlfriend. Nobody tell her, though. I want it to be a surprise."

"What do you call a black woman with 8 abortions? A crime fighter."

"How does clickbait work? Just grab this electrical cable. Then what happens? WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU!!!!!"

"Christina Applegate should totally get involved in a scandal-- then we could call it Applegategate"

"Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC? Because it was on old croc."

"If you want to relate to how old people probably feel just imagine that a bowl of soup cost $40 and everybody else acted like that was fine."

"How do you plant dope? Bury a blonde."