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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend thought the fossball table in our living room was too fratty. So I filled it up with water and turned it into a synchronized swimming simulator."

"How do you know a joke isn't a repost? When it doesn't reach the front page."

"How does a person from New Zealand find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying."

"Did you hear about the fish that walked into the chip shop?? He got battered!!"

"Cup of coffe Patient: ""I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."" Doctor: ""Try taking the spoon out."""

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist.... I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 guys... then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled ""FUCK ME!"" What happened next will haunt me the for the rest of my life..."

"The women at the club tonight are so unapproachable. Getting discouraged. Good thing mom is here to tell everyone what a super guy I am."

"Some say putting helium in animals is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat."

"*Sees thing on floor *Vacuums over said thing *Vacuum cant pick it up *Picks up thing *Looks at it *Puts it back on the floor to vacuum"

"Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that didn't let it's daughter go to prom"