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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend thought the fossball table in our living room was too fratty. So I filled it up with water and turned it into a synchronized swimming simulator."

"#wecanlandonacometbutwecant let a comet land on us. - Yakov Smirnoff"

"Why did Darth Maul jack off into a piece of fruit? Because the sith always comes in pears"

"In this day and age, the closest most of us will get to finding happiness is free wifi and an economy-sized tub of Nutella."

"A blonde walks into a library... ba dum tss thank you, thank you"

"During sex it's perfectly fine to say 'yeah', 'yes', 'oh yes'..but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming 'Yep' .."

"What did southern, black children bring to school to eat? Lynchables"

"In order to promote progress I think the next session of congress should be sent to the moon. I just feel that they would make a greater impact."

"2 pedophiles are sitting on a park bench when an 11 year old boy walks by... One pedo leans over to the other and says ""boy he must've looked good back in the day"""

"When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty"