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Joke of the Day

"The women at the club tonight are so unapproachable. Getting discouraged. Good thing mom is here to tell everyone what a super guy I am."

"Daddy what is a transvestite? -Ask Mommy, he knows."

"Is it still illegal to run someone over with your car if they're wearing camouflage?"

"This vegan I met said she knew me But I'd never seen herbivore"

"Have decided Twitter is like a good grandma. Makes dirty jokes, complains a lot, corrects your grammar, tells you who has died."

"My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives."

"Do cannibals try to eat gymnasts... for a more balanced diet?"

"The government should pay for everyone to get massages on November 9th."

"Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock."

"Alzheimer A guy stands in front of a urinal with his hand in head hairs. ""I, definitely, remember it's somewhere in hairs"""