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Joke of the Day

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist.... I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 guys... then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled ""FUCK ME!"" What happened next will haunt me the for the rest of my life..."

"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? (no) me neither but enough to break the ice, hi my name is ....."

"Yo mama has so many chins it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace !!"

"Carol from Facebook said she's ""taking it one day at a time,"" so I responded ""me too. That's how days work."""

"What's big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table."

"Well I was going to donate blood today until.... the lady got all personal and started asking, ""Who's blood is this?"" and ""How did you get it?"""

"Had I known you were coming I would have baked a cake. Instead you get to watch me decapitate an iguana. You should call ahead."

"How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?......No one knows they never keep the house!"

"I always like seeing those ""Baby on Board"" stickers because it's nice to see agreeable babies out there."

"My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell out of the guard tower."