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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when homeless people shake their Change cups at me..... I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it."

"I bought my friend an elephant... I bought my friend an elephant to put in her room. She said ""thank you very much"" I said ""don't mention it"""

"Wife: ""You talk like some poorly written science fiction novel. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""I swear by the 12 moons of Bumtar I can change!"""

"What's the fastest cake in the world? Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue."

"You know what sucks about being an agnostic dyslexic insomniac? You end up staying awake all night wondering if there is a dog"

"A Jewish boy asks his father for 20 dollars... ""10 dollars!? Why do you need 5 dollars?!"""

"Conjunctivitis.com Now that's a site for sore eye's!"

"What do you call a lesbian with long finger nails? *Single*."

"what's black and white and red all over? interracial couple losing virginity"

"I think that's enough coffee. I can hear my cells dividing."