80101

Joke of the Day

"I used to live with my sister. It was really off-putting when I could hear her scream during sex... So I just put my hand over her mouth. ""Shut up, no one is coming to help you."""

"What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? ""Attention K-Mart shoppers..."""

"What does a gay guy and a freezer have in common? Both get packed with meat. I'll show myself out."

"A man goes into a bakery and asks for 99 loaves of bread... ""Why not make it a 100 loaves?"" asks the baker, to which the man responds ""who the fuck eats that much bread?!""."

"A father and son were watching a movie together The son says ""Daddy I'm scared. Is that woman going to die?"" And the father replied with ""Well, I don't know son. That is a pretty big horse cock."""

"You know why the undertaker was fired? He made a grave mistake."

"I never understood why vets... aren't called dogtors."

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you - scum again."

"Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro."

"If you are cornered by raccoons in the wild then place your thumb and index finger tips together- make a bandit mask. They will accept you."