79959

Joke of the Day

"I went to church today just to thank God I'm not Miley Cyrus."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"You can blame those ""meddling kids"" all you want. But let's face it. Your entire plan was to dress up like a ghost."

"What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull!"

"Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A: It's not hard."

"Did you hear about the boss that slept with his secretary and then fired her? He really gave her the shaft."

"The difference between erotic and kinky: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken."

"Why don't vultures eat at restaurants? They don't allow carrion."

"I'm a man of my word... and that word is ""unreliable"""

"I don't ""take"" weed because weed ""took"" my best friend & trapeze partner Corton from me when we were 17. #ImissYouBrother #SwingWithJesus"