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Joke of the Day

"I don't ""take"" weed because weed ""took"" my best friend & trapeze partner Corton from me when we were 17. #ImissYouBrother #SwingWithJesus"

"This kitten is just what my house needed. Another female that doesn't listen to me."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a baby who just got HIV? I didn't rape Donald Trump"

"Have you heard about the jewish comedian? They say he Israeli funny."

"Good morning class, science is our lesson for today. Teacher: What is science? Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science? Student: science is our Lesson for today."

"What do you call a cow with Parkinson's? Beef jerky"

"[breakfast in hell] STALIN: Toast is burnt POL POT: Eggs are rotten HITLER: I hate the juice STALIN: Oh here we go HITLER: I said JUICE"

"EXCLUSIVE OFFER: 1,000 tampons for only $5 No strings attached."

"What do you call a blind deer? No eye-deer. What do you call a blind, dickless deer? No fucking eye-deer. What do you call a blind, dickless, quadruple amputee deer? Still no fucking eye-dear."

"How is a rabbit similar to a plum? they are both purple, except for the rabbit."