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Joke of the Day

"I'll tell you a joke about sodium. Na. How about one about potassium? K."

"Partied so hard last night I spilled Kool-Aide on my cocaine Punchline"

"I'm not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?"

"My neighbors thought the tombstones in my yard were festive until they saw their pets' names scrawled on them."

"If u want to get out of a conversation in public just say ""I've gotta take this"" then steal the nearest for-sale item and get arrested."

"Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think ""Wow, this is Awesome!"""

"One time I got drunk and took the bus... Now that may not sound impressive to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"Shamrocks are the most dishonest of all the rocks."

"What did the Hammerhead say to the Great White as they parted ways? I guess I'll see you around chum."

"An ISIS attack wouldn't do any damage to Chicago What's one more pot hole?"