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Joke of the Day

"I'll tell you a joke about sodium. Na. How about one about potassium? K."

"Every time you use a q-tip... you turn a q into an o"

"I say: ""No, sorry. I'm not on Facebook at all."" They hear: ""I live amongst hill people where The Goat we worship has forbidden friendship."""

"What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt? Lacoste intolerant."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think its the R! But its actually the C!"

"If I had a dollar every time someone called me sexist... I'd have enough money to sponsor the repealing of the 19th Amendment."

"11: He shoots for her coffee. He SCORES! HE'S... Me: Grounded."

"When Fnatic plays on fy_snow... OLAFmeister gets an ace"

"My Lecturer asked me why i was failing my class ""Is it ignorance or apathy?"", he said. Honestly, I don't know and I don't care."

"*notices ham sandwich while searching inside myself* 'wait, if that's here' *son opens lunchbox to find debilitating existential malaise*"