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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?"

"How many recruits does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to change the lightbulb and four road guards."

"What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common? All they talk about is the presidential erection"

"*uses handkerchief* Well now that this is used, it seems I won't be blowing my nose again til laundry day."

"Despite being brought up as a catholic, I was never molested when I was younger... ...yeah, I was a pretty ugly child."

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up."

"I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone."

"Why did the pedophile get a job at the bakery? because he likes his buns fresh from the oven."

"[getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid ""Well which one is it?"""

"They told me to bring an exotic animal I said alpaca Llama They asked if that was a hybrid"