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Joke of the Day

"One time I got drunk and took the bus... Now that may not sound impressive to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"What is a cat's favorite breakfast? Mice crispies."

"Sorry I replied ""yikes"" to your selfie."

"Bro do you even watch The Notebook and weep softly, mourning the eternal nature of love juxtaposed against the fallibility of memory, bro?"

"I'm not a beach, but shore. Cheesy and overused, but always makes me laugh."

"What do you call a bunch of Mexican Stoners? Baked Beans."

"Every time my dentist is kind enough to tell me I need to floss, I am kind enough to tell him that he needs to trim his nostril hairs."

"Does Snoop Dog wear and apron when he cooks? Yes, for sizzles. Edit: Snoop Lion"

"My wife asked what I thought of her new blouse and I used the word ""slimming"", I explain to the other homeless people."

"Did you hear about the perverted statistician? Standard deviation wasn't enough for him anymore..."