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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gaping hole in your chest that smells like fish? VAGINA PECTORIS!"

"What did the first lesbian vampire say to the second lesbian vampire? See you next month."

"No one ever smells their finger because it smells good."

"[Bank] COP: [through megaphone] LET ONE OF THE HOSTAGES GO ROBBER: Okay, who wants out? ME: [spinning on bosses chair] I'm comfortable."

"What's the difference between pop stars and porn stars? Porn stars can probably sing."

"A sadist joke I thought-up today at 2:20PM Q: Where do happy sadists come from? A: A Sadist-factory! get it? get it?"

"How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light-bulb? ""Go fuck yourself!"""

"Santa, Tooth Fairy, easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde.. are all around a $100 bill, who gets it? The dumb blonde, because the rest are all imaginary..."

"I was eating at a nice dinner last night and realized that we spend a lot of money on something that is just going to turn to shit. But enough about my romantic relationships."

"Fat Chicks Are Like Scooters... They're Really Fun To Ride Until Your Friends Find Out"