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Joke of the Day

"Santa, Tooth Fairy, easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde.. are all around a $100 bill, who gets it? The dumb blonde, because the rest are all imaginary..."

"Today I was woken up by a blowjob. I hope I'll never fall asleep in the train with my mouth open again."

"Yelled at some skinhead today & he was all like ""chemotherapy, dude"" & I was like, ""whatever, racist"" cause sometimes you gotta take a stand"

"RIDDLER: What has-- BATMAN: A gazebo ROBIN: Matches RIDDLER: Let me finish- BM: A paperweight R: Dental floss RIDDLER: I hate you guys"

"let's head over to the barber shop and make hair angels on the floor"

"I am not racist because racism is a crime and crime is for black people"

"Two atoms walked out of a bar. One turned to the other one and said, ""we've got to go back in there, I left an electron"" The other one asked, ""Are you sure?"" He replied, ""Yes, I'm positive"""

"How do you catch a unique lion? Unique up on him. How do you catch a tame lion? tame way! Zingo!"

"My friend lives on a court with a sign, ""No outlet."" I wonder where he plugs in his TV?"

"My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all of her musical instruments."