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Joke of the Day

"How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one."

"how do you know Jesus was a virgin? Could you keep it up knowing you'll be screaming ""Oh my dad"" during sex?"

"Another Math Joke Two cats are sitting on a roof. Which one will fall off first? The one with the smaller mu."

"I hate being bipolar it's awesome"

"I just found out that his full name is actually....Vehicle Identification Number Diesel."

"LPT: If you're not planning to do anything the entire day, Masturbate. Then you won't want to walk or shower and you can waste your day as originally intended."

"Ate raspberries for the first time in a while. I got retarted."

"At this late date, the only way I'm gonna be famous is if I save a baby from a fire. And the baby is filming the whole thing with his phone."

"I fell of a 50ft ladder today! Luckily, I was only on the second step."

"I'd like to thank my skeletal system for all the support it's given me over the years."