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Joke of the Day

"Cons of being on The Walking Dead: Almost everyone you know is dead & the world is a desolate zombie wasteland Pros: No more Adobe updates!"

"I've spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why ""mustache"" & ""headache"" don't rhyme."

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? I can't make a vitamin"

"These twins I knew in high school both got mono... They got stereo"

"Him: Come check out my church! Me: Him: They play rock music! Me: Him: It's cool! Me: Does it have church in it? Him: Yes... Me: *click*"

"How are American beer and making love in a canoe the same? They're both fucking close to water."

"Best Buy's Martin Luther King Day sale leaked 50% off all black speakers"

"I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor."

"Do you know what ""relative humidity"" is? It's that little drop of sweat that forms on the tip of your nose when you're fucking your cousin."

"At some point your mother has purposely clicked on a link displaying a black penis. Sweet dreams."