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Joke of the Day

"Him: Come check out my church! Me: Him: They play rock music! Me: Him: It's cool! Me: Does it have church in it? Him: Yes... Me: *click*"

"I was so happy my mail order bride arrived today. My Wife wasn't. She did say I can use the crate as a doghouse. Odd, we don't own a dog."

"If God is your co-pilot - swap seats."

"Anal sex is like getting your first car You dont really want it but your step dad gives it To you anyways"

"Guy calls his boss and says ""I can't come in, I'm sick"". Boss says, ""you don't sound sick to me"". Guy says, ""I just got done fucking my dog how much sicker could I be?"""

"""Daddy, tell me again about how you wasted time before Twitter existed?"" ""Well son, we used to look at clouds & pretend they were animals."""

"Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!"

"My friends hate I when I use smiley faces. They're just childish xD"

"Why don't old people have sex? Have you ever tried peeling a grilled cheese apart?"

"I know it's ""cool"" to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That's somebody's daughter."