79580

Joke of the Day

"Told to me by my 8 year old daughter: Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence. Awkward silence who? ... I see what you did there..."

"Cilla Black has died... Surprise Surprise."

"No matter how white-hot my rage feels, I have been unable to clear the snow off my driveway by giving it the finger."

"What's the most difficult part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"A comma is the difference between ""Yesterday, I met the strippers, Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton."" and ""Yesterday, I met the strippers, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton."""

"One fun thing about having a crappy car is abruptly shutting off the air conditioner on the highway and pretending you have a hyperdrive."

"Home Depot law decrees that if two dads are pushing carts down the same isle, the dad with the greater mustache has the right of way."

"A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide."

"What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison? You can't wash your face in a buffalo."