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Joke of the Day

"[me telling a joke] guy wearing a ""Make America Great Again"" hat: I don't understand. ME: There's probably a lot you don't understand."

"If Hillary and Trump were on a boat and it sank, who would survive? America"

"A Billionaire, a Misogynist, and a Racist walks into a bar The bartender asks how he is doing in the election. Edit: shitty spelling and punchline"

"""They call me Mr Six Hours,"" I told her, trying to make it sound like a sex thing not the amount of time my head was stuck in a beehive for"

"I don't get how people say Mickey Rourke looks bad for his age... ...don't they realise his first film role was in 1941?!"

"Did you hear Miley Cyrus does webcam gigs from her lounge now? You might say she's twerking from home."

"Astronomers have used liquid water as an indicator for planet habitability... ...they might also need to add whether the planet has a Trump elected as president"

"My priest told me that my inner kid in me is still young... I don't think the inner kid in him is as young as the kid he was in."

"What do you call an Asian with a big... NSFW Butt hole? Gay ping!"

"*playing poker* *my opponent smirks* ""All in."" he says. *pair of aces* *I smile* *throws down a pair of Olsen twins* ""Full House."""