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Joke of the Day

"GF told me she wanted to write her ""biography"" & I said ""autobiography"" & now there's a chapter where I sleep at my place."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I was like ""WOW"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"What do chemists say when they smell something that they don't like? Pu"

"My toothpaste says it guarantees whiteness within two weeks.. Yet after two weeks I'm still asian"

"A photon... Checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage to which the photon replies, ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."""

"Why do Palestinians have faster computers than Israelis? They have RAMallah."

"""Be careful when you follow the Masses. Sometimes the 'M' is silent."""

"What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird."

"Did you say that you need to go see a psychiatrist? That's crazy!"

"Next time you're swallowed by a whale, stand up through the blowhole like it's a sunroof on a limo. Throw your arms up. Have some fun!"