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Joke of the Day
"[labels account ""18+""] [tweets exclusively about voting & buying cigarettes legally]"
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"I have a knock-knock joke, but you have to start it."
"Breaking news... The news truck has split in half, our traffic report website is down, and the studio seems to be having trouble with this sound system."
"Superbowl XLVII - How does Beyonce answer the phone? *HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show"
"People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people."
"My dad always told me that people that curse are too dumb to say anything else... and i was like ""what the fuck does that mean?"""
"""We are the 1%!"" - People on MySpace"
"My friend told me to stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe"
"If I ever die, my phone better go with me or there will be some pissed off people at my funeral."
"What do you call a group of 5 guys named Curtis that are all wearing matching suits? A Curtis-y flush"