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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Hillary Clinton? A dickless bull that can't fuck its way into the white house. But who tell which is which?"

"When is April 2nd and she is still pregnant! D:"

"Lance Armstrong...Optimist or Pessimist? So, Lance, do you see the scrotum as half-full, or do you see the scrotum as half-empty?"

"Why is the economy so bad has anyone told these guys there's always money in the banana stand"

"Men are like animals: messy insensitive and potentially violent but they make great pets."

"If you were on a bus full of queers, Would you stay on or get off? My physics teacher told me that one."

"SERIOUS WARNING! Do not go outside! On the 31st December around 11:59pm. Do not go outside your house otherwise chances are, you will not come back until next year!!! Please tell everyone u care for."

"How do you know Stephen Hawking has jungle fever? He knows a lot about black holes"

"My great great grandfather died at Custer's last stand? He didn't die fighting he was camping nearby and went over to complain about the noise."

"Telemarketer: Good afternoon, Sir. Me: Do you walk with a limp? Telemarketer: No. Me: Want to? Telemarketer: Thank you for your time."