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Joke of the Day

"Mexican cartel drones were found near the border in a failed attempt to smuggle drugs I guess the drones got too high and crashed"

"A QA tester walks into a bar... and orders 1 beers and orders 5 beers and orders 9999 beers and orders -1 beers and orders foobar beers"

"NSFW Hey girl, are you a doctor? I need to speak to one because you've given me an erection that's lasted longer than 4 hours."

"Two dogs are standing beside a road... The first one goes, ""woof"", the second says, ""knock it off! That's all you said yesterday."""

"The legal age of drinking in Alabama has been changed to 31... Representatives hope that it will keep underage drinking out of high schools"

"A guy is about to die Guy: How much time do I have left, doctor? Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what?! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years? Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5..."

"Sex is like pizza If you're going to use barbecue sauce, you better know what the fuck you're doing"

"A man was circumcised in a dodgy alleyway... He paid close to nothing for it but was not happy as later that day, he was complaining to his friends that it was a complete rip-off."

"[speed dating] Me: Periods. Her: Huh? Me: Do they go inside the quotation mark or outside? Her: In the US or the UK? Me: Let's get married."

"Why would I go to a high school reunion? I have Facebook, I already know who got fat."