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Joke of the Day

"NSFW Hey girl, are you a doctor? I need to speak to one because you've given me an erection that's lasted longer than 4 hours."

"knock knock... who's there? Honeycomb Honeycomb who? Honeycomb your hair."

"Look grandma. You told me to bring something to the wake. If you meant a casserole, you should have said so. Now help me load this drum kit."

"Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool."

"Ladies be careful, some of these guys don't want to get into your pants, they want to wear them."

"I just pretended to be on my phone in the elevator and then my phone rang. I'm going to close up shop emotionally for the day"

"Never play hide-and-seek with a 4yo in the mall. I know that now."

"Sex is hereditary... ... if your parents never had it you won't either."

"Almost 7 billion people on the planet and I find about 12 of them somewhat tolerable once in a while."

"Bar So, a man walks into a bar and says ouch."