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Joke of the Day

"A guy is about to die Guy: How much time do I have left, doctor? Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what?! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years? Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5..."

"How can you tell that you had sex with a Mexican woman the night before? You wake up with a jalapeno seed on your dick."

"Police on bikes arresting someone: ""You're under arrest. Get in the basket"""

"If there was any award for laziness, I probably would send someone to pick it up for me."

"My superpower is finding the one bathroom stall with no toilet paper."

"*does 3 or 4 pretty accurate karate kicks in front of a girl* ""Ya as I was saying my dad went to middle school with the drummer from Tesla"""

"Why did the Pakistani cook get fired? He could only cook eggs Sunni side up and, honestly, they tasted like Shi'ite."

"Old one but...A Priest, A rapist and a Pedophile walk into a bar... He orders a beer!"

"What do frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common? An idiot who forgot to take it out earlier."

"Hannibal Lector must have slept around... I heard he was quite the man-eater."