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Joke of the Day

"My cousin: ""i just closed a big deal today that is going to make me a ton of money!"" Me: ""some guy name Queef Nuggets RTed me"""

"TIFU Your girl was on my lap"

"What do you call a radio host with a broken leg? Maggie *Limpton* ~~Most people probably won't get this, but eh.~~"

"There once was a man from the Cape. Who had balls like a hairy great ape. Then he met a nice girl. She gave him a whirl. And now he's got two little grapes."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar One deer turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there"""

"Ran into my ex gf today... I put it in reverse and hit her again"

"I went out drinking last Friday and took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before."

"2 guys with Alzheimer's. ""I'm off to go get some ice cream, do you want some?"" ""Yeah sure"" Shortly later, he returns. ""Here, I brought you your fish"" ""Fish!.............. where's my fucking chips."""

"What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March? Spring break!"

"It's called a ""Monte Cristo"" sandwich because one day it will return disguised as another sandwich & seek its revenge"