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Joke of the Day

"My cousin: ""i just closed a big deal today that is going to make me a ton of money!"" Me: ""some guy name Queef Nuggets RTed me"""

Next Joke
 
"Are you a termite? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood."
"Sad day--NBC said no to my TV idea, 'Celebrity Q-tip Cams', where we go deep inside the ears of the stars."
"Soda Can Yesterday someone hit my head with a soda can, luckily it was a soft drink."
"saleslady: can I help you ""yes, how many leg holes do these pants have?"" saleslady: ummm just the usual two ""nice, nice"""
"Does England have a fourth of July? Of Course they do, they just don't celebrate it!"
"I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig....It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep."
"If there are liberal arts colleges, why aren't there any conservative arts colleges? Well, there used to be conservative arts colleges, but they were all defunded."
"Why is the Star Trek enterprise like toilet paper? They both circle your anus searching for cling-ons"
"A redhead tells her blonde step-sister that she slept with a Brazilian... ...and she replies with ""Omg! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""