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Joke of the Day

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar One deer turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I blew 30 bucks in there"""

"Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: In a mirror! Well any reflective surface really, windows, shiny cars, puddles..."

"What do you call a man who rides his camel backwards? Lawrence of Dublin."

"How do ghosts navigate the ocean? They use boo-eys."

"When do burgers quit their jobs? The day they decide to meat LOAF!"

"LPT: Laminate your index cards when studying. Not only does it prevent smearing, but the teardrops actually roll right off."

"Your breath is so nasty.... That people look forward to your farts"

"I found a new passion yesterday pairing socks. I guess I just enjoy bringing sole mates together."

"Typos... that's just how I role."

"""DADDY THERE'S A MONSTER UNDER MY BED"" [me opening bedroom window] Wife: What are you doing? Me: *climbing out* ARE YOU COMING OR NOT?"