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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a radio host with a broken leg? Maggie *Limpton* ~~Most people probably won't get this, but eh.~~"

"I just got a part in the movie Cocaine I only have one line."

"If Ted Kennedy Dan Quayle Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest which one would win? Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word."

"When you call a dog they usually come to you. When you call a cat; they take a message."

"Bad Day Q- How do you know when a blonde is having a bad day? A- She has a tampon behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil."

"How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, let the bitch do the ironing in the dark."

"I landed a really nice job at the local sperm bank But was soon after let go for drinking on the job."

"People treat me like a god... They don't talk to me unless they want something."

"My mother-in-law got into a car accident and broke both her legs and arms even god knows what a snake she is"

"What's the difference between a jew and a boy-scout? Boy-scout comes back from the camp"