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Joke of the Day

"The fact that they call it the Food Pyramid and not Food Triangle implies it has at least two other sides. So maybe this much taffy is OK"

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"My wife complained that I don't give her flowers anymore. I replied that she doesn't give me blow jobs anymore."
"I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them."
"What's got no teeth, and smells? The gearbox in my wife's car."
"What's the difference between a vegetarian and a virgin? A vegetarian doesn't like meat and a virgin doesn't know yet if she likes meat or not."
"You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me."
"Just went into a women's restroom and lifted all the toilet seats."
"If any of you guys are considering law school, please keep in mind I passed the bar exam in multiple states & now I'm a purple hippo online"
"Why do Mexicans make tamales for Christmas? To have something to unwrap."
"A blond girl turns on the radio and hears that 2 Brazilian men were killed As she starts to cry she asks ""How many is a Brazilian?"""