79002

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a potato/corn crime fighting duo? Starchy and Husk"

"ME: when I was 12 I got the flu so bad I had to be in the hospital GUY WHO TRIES TO ONE-UP EVERY STORY: oh yeah? when I was 13 I died"

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" lol wtf ""wait its back on again nvm"" ok lmao ""he just stole my nose"" im phoning the police"

"What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning? I'm not letting you cook dinner again"

"What's the difference between a drummer in a rock'n'roll band and an extra large pizza? The extra large pizza can feed a family of four."

"England fans must be pretty happy right now. They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain."

"[making small talk at a party] Hair products are so expensive these days. Do you think that's why poor people look like shit?"""

"I wish people who made amateur porn would clean up their rooms first."

"What part of Canada do the Inuit control? Nunavut."

"What do you call a donkey that falls into a pile of sugar? A Sweet Ass ( )"