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Joke of the Day

"England fans must be pretty happy right now. They've been waiting years for their team to play like Spain."

"Oe Oe Oe so there's these 2 monkeys bathing one monkey says: oe oe ooooe second monkey says: did you forgot to put some cold water in?"

"What did Jamal get for Christmas? Your Bike"

"I had no shoes and I felt sorry for myself..... Then I met a man with no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."

"I've decided to sell the vacuum... It's just collecting dust. Credit to Codsworth"

"What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party? There's no punch line."

"My brother just updated his status to ""I love my girlfriend <3"". I always knew he liked them young, but that is fucking ridiculous."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fruit salad."

"What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school? Not only have you let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down!"

"What's the difference between Iceland and Ireland? A consonant."