141559

Joke of the Day

"Ladies, please keep it down a bit, a large group of white men are in Washington trying to sort out your birth control."

"TIL ninjas only have sex in the dark... That way you can't see them coming."

"Tried explaining Twitter to my dad, but his ""why would you want to do that?"" argument was pretty bulletproof."

"Can't believe I'm still writing ""-oslovakian"" on all my Czechs."

"If I gave everyone on the planet a penny... ...would that be considered common cents?"

"The ghost of a dog with no tail walks into a bar after closing time.. Barman: Sorry, we don't retail spirits after hours."

"I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?"

"My boyfriend just sent me a txt: 'I think I want to see other people.' My reply was, 'You better look out the window.'"

"Why couldn't the Lesbian Jew hook up during passover? She had a yeast infection"

"Anyone hear what Russia is eating for Christmas? Turkey... Too soon?"