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Joke of the Day
"What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Nice belt."
Next Joke
"A baby that is starting to wake up from a nap is like a solar eclipse. Whatever you do, do not look directly at it."
"What can't I find on the internet? My keys"
"Went to my psychologist and told him I feel like a pack of cards. He said hell deal with me later"
"[looks over neighbour's fence while he's in the pool] ""Dude, we get it. You can hold your breath for [looks at watch] 19 days."""
"A man walks into a zoo, the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It was a shih tzu"
"A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. ""Hey kid"" he shouted. ""Why don't you go outside and play?"""
"What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A viola burns longer."
"Someone told me I was ""good people"" and I replied ""OMG you can hear them too?"""
"What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital? ... Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones."