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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a violin and a viola? A viola burns longer."

"idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school"

"Fishy tales Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk? Because he was stuck in denial."

"Did you hear Snow White got thrown out of Disney Land? They caught her sitting on Pinocchio's Face yelling ""Lie you little fucker"

"What was Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft."

"My parents once made me smoke a whole pack of cigarettes in one sitting. To teach me about brand loyalty."

"Have you heard the Joke about Hiroshima? I hear it's explosive...."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a snake about to shed it's skin. Why don't you go behind the screen and slip into something more comfortable then!"

"My anti-social behavior reached a new high today when I was un-invited to a wedding, and it made my day."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and one to suck my dick."