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Joke of the Day

"My son, 15, DOES NOT KNOW the name of the street we've lived on for 7 years. We are taking him to the vet to get micro-chipped."

"How do you titilate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit a lot."

"Why do white girls walk in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"How many apples a day does it take to keep everybody else away"

"Want to hear the corniest poop joke ever? No? Too late."

"I ate 4 lunch ladies before someone explained that's not what they're for."

"What's a jewish man's favourite song? Tanakh Tanakh Tun"

"I wish I had a job. That way I could spend all day tweeting when I should be working."

"When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say ""its extra is that ok?"" if u say its not ok they give it to u for free"

"What did the clitoris say to her therapist? ""I'm a bundle of nerves right now!"""