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Joke of the Day
"I bought my friend a new computer screen for Xmas. His New Year resolution is 1920 x 1080."
Next Joke
"Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday? Causal fridays."
"Whoa bltch you dont look like a 100 likes in person."
"A friend of mine told me that sex after a vasectomy would hurt. But to be honest I haven't noticed a vas deferens."
"I don't post for the karma."
"- Doctor, kiss me! - I can't. We, the doctors, follow a very strict work ethic that does not allow us to kiss our patients. Honestly speaking, I should have never even fucked you in the first place!"
"WIFE: Please take the trash out ME: Ok *later that night* ME: I'm having a nice time TRASH: Wow, the food here is spicy AF"
"In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes."
"Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart? Because noble gases are nonreactive."
"Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge. I AM POWER. I AM RESILIENCE. I AM A BRA STRAP."